Halloween is about free candy, skeletons and little kids running around dressed like their favorite TV characters.
Halloween is not about 20-year-olds hitting the All Hallow’s Eve streets in skimpy, form-fitting costumes appropriate for bordellos and music videos.
Unfortunately, every year we see plenty of clich’eacute; slutty nurses, maids, angels and stewardesses using Halloween as an opportunity to dress like a prostitute and get away with it. Which is why this column is for the ladies. It’s hard for men to look slutty.Anyway, here’s a thought: Let’s de-slut Halloween.
When you choose a costume this year, take some advice from your childhood self: choose a costume not because it’ll make you look hot, but because you like or admire what you dress up as. I didn’t dress up like She-Ra to be hot (though she is). I dressed up like her because she awesomely held aloft her sword and said, “For the honor of Grayskull!” Ask yourself questions such as “Do I actually like insert slutty costume here?” Or “Which historical figure/subject/musician do I really love?” Let your Halloween costume be a way to pay homage to the people or things that matter in your life.
Johnny Depp your favorite actor? Tie a red bandana around your head, draw some kohl-like lines around your eyes and go around taking swigs out of a root-beer bottle. English literature your thing? Find an 18th century-looking dress at your local thrift store and run around tearing your hair and screaming “Heathcliff!” at passersby. They may think you’re loco, but you’ll get mass points with your English professor.
I know some of you out there (myself included) are not really into looking silly OR slutty in your choice of costume, so look chic instead! Love Audrey Hepburn movies? Put your hair into a chignon, don oversized black sunglasses (totally in right now) and a sleek little black dress. You’ll be conjuring up “Breakfast at Tiffany’s” in no time.
Not really sure what/who you want to be? Here’s a few guidelines to keep in mind while you shop.
Skirt length: mini skirt length (mid thigh) is the absolute limit in shortness. Any shorter than that you may as well pick up a feather duster and a doily.
Midriff: showing your stomach may be appropriate depending on costume, but usually should be considered a no-no due to skank potential and the fact you’ll be freezing your little butt off.
Cleavage: Again, depends on your costume. Elizabethan women didn’t mind showing a little, but be careful to avoid looking like Pamela Anderson (no one needs to see that much).
Makeup: This is one way you can go crazy with your costume. Halloween is the one night to bust out that emerald eye shadow that’s a little much for daytime wear. False eyelashes are another way to add oomph to your spooky ensemble.
Really, the sky’s the limit. When you were a child you didn’t have a huge choice for a costume – you were stuck with whatever your parents got you.
Now that we’re grown up college students, we can be whomever we want to be, not only on Halloween, but also in real life.
Do you really want to waste this chance for greatness on a department-store kitschy nurse costume with torn white fishnets? I thought not.