Polite, outgoing and bigger than most 6-year-olds.

That was John Dunhoft’s first impression of now 46-year-old John Tomlinson. He was Tomlinson’s first coach at the Erlanger Lions, a non-profit with a football team.

“He would even come up to you before practice would even start and ask, ‘Do you need anything done? Do you need me to carry any water up on the field?’” Dunhoft said.

That’s just the kind of kid he was. There wasn’t anything he wouldn’t do if you asked him. That is something Dunhoft says has never changed.

Years after they first met, they reunited at Lloyd Memorial High School. Tomlinson was an 8th grader and Dunhoft reserved a spot for him on varsity.

But Tomlinson wanted to finish his final year with his friends at the Lions. The only problem was – he wouldn’t make weight.

“I tell you what, I’ll take you and two or three of your best friends anywhere out to eat if you make weight,” challenged Dunhoft. “I don’t want you starving yourself, I don’t want you doing anything stupid.”

So a young Tomlinson buckled in, worked his “butt off” and made weight.

“I ended up having to take him and a couple others up to Pasquali’s pizza up there across Dixie Highway and let them eat all the pizza they wanted,” Dunhoft said.

He talked about how rare it is to find someone capable of doing anything you ask of them. That was the kind of leader he wanted for his team and his players.

Football meant everything to Tomlinson. His father, who he saw as his hero, was a huge football fan and pushed him to be a better player.

“I was new to the area and didn’t know anyone but loved to play football. It was the one way that I could get my dad’s attention,” Tomlinson said.

Tomlinson hadn’t realized yet, but his father was struggling with an alcohol use disorder. Someone who was once his hero had turned into someone he was afraid of, especially when his dad ran out of beer.

It was the following year, after Tomlinson had finished his first season as a freshman, when his coaches called him into their office. He was going to be on varsity starting tomorrow.

Thrilled, Tomlinson ran home to tell his parents. To tell his father.

Except he didn’t get the approval he had been working for.

“My dad had been drinking all day and basically told me, ‘I’m not sure why the hell they moved you up. You’re pretty much the worst kid on a team with just one win.’” Tomlinson said, “I was destroyed.”

But that is when he made a shift in his pursuit. Football was no longer a way of earning his dad’s respect. It was his way of proving him wrong.

Tomlinson worked his hardest everyday after that. He continued to be a role model to his fellow teammates and earned the respect of his coaches.

Football became his escape. Even as things at home got worse.

“I would stay at friends’ houses until their parents told me I had to head home. It was then that I would go to Lions Park or Lloyd’s football field and hang out by myself until I was pretty sure my dad was asleep,” he said “My mom, there were times where she wouldn’t come home because he had been calling her work threatening her so she would stay away.”

Those nights Tomlinson spent alone. Afraid of what he may walk into, he would wait until all the lights were off and sneak in, grab clothes and head back up to Lloyd. 

He kept that to himself. It wasn’t until years later he opened up about those nights.

Dunhoft, while reflecting on that time, said he had no idea. He thought Tomlinson was an outstanding young man but never knew how serious things were at home.

“You got a kid kind of living on his own off and on, sleeping up in the bleachers at night and going to school the next day. It takes one heck of a young man to live up to those types of circumstances,” Dunhoft said.

While all of that was going on at home, Tomlinson’s bond with his coaches had been growing. 

His coaches Rudy Tassini and Dick Wilmhoff took notice of a change in Tomlinson’s behavior. His play on the field and his attitude off the field had changed.

What Tassini did is what shaped the future of Tomlinson’s life. He offered to take him in, to put him in a hotel, to take care of him.

“This is something I’ll never forget,” Tomlinson said, “It showed my worth as a human wasn’t measured by a man I barely knew anymore. I was worth so much more to them and to this world.”

Now, Youth Activities and Football Director for the Lions, Assistant Defensive Coordinator for Lloyd Memorial, Tomlinson reflects his coach’s actions.

In 2011, Tomlinson became a coach with the Erlanger Lions and went on to win over 10 championships within the Northern Kentucky Youth Football League. 

But winning isn’t why Tomlinson is so involved with the community.

“I just like building relationships with the kids. Going out there and the smiles on their faces when they accomplish something they didn’t think they could,” he said, “Building confidence in them and helping them walk through the daily life struggles.”

These are the things that attracted his now wife Amber Tomlinson, despite a rocky start.

“The first time that I ever saw him was at a track meet, and there was a whole group of people around him and they’re all laughing and I heard him doing this Forrest Gump impersonation,” she said.

But only catching bits and pieces, she was concerned this group was actually mocking someone with special needs. 

She pulled her friend aside to question why everyone was laughing at him. It was later when she heard him speaking normally that she realized he was doing an impression.

“He’s still the same funny, immature, jokester and he’s always had a huge heart for everybody but now I get to see him as a father, a coach, and a mentor to players and my kids and their friends,” she said.

But the moment that stands out to her, that showed the kind of father he’d be, happened when they were still in college.

Amber Tomlinson was supposed to watch her niece when she was called in to her job at the tanning salon. 

“I know I’m supposed to have faith tonight but they need me to work, would you be able to watch her for me?” she said.

Not married, no kids of their own and no obligation, he said yes.

Amber Tomlinson worked until midnight when the salon closed and made it home around 1:30 a.m. 

She remembered walking into the door and smelling this awful stench. 

She followed the smell to the bathroom where she would find him with music and a tv playing for her niece in the bathtub.

Her niece had rotavirus.

He had spent the entire night changing her and eventually moved her into the bathtub to rinse her off.

“He’s just sitting there playing with her like it was his kid,” she choked up. “He was totally fine with it and I was like okay, this is a pretty good guy to deal with all of this.”

She said she sees a distinct piece of him in each of their children.

They have three: Caden (the oldest), Lorelei (his only daughter), and Lincoln (the youngest).

Caden Tomlinson is already working towards making an impact like his father. He’s currently studying to become a teacher and serving as a para teacher at Lindeman Elementary.

“He’s kind of the reason I’m looking to do something with kids in the community as a job. He’s doing it volunteering,” Caden laughed “He’s a huge role model for me I would say.”

Caden talked about times when his dad would drive 20 to 30 minutes to pick up players from rough areas with broken windows.

He said some of those kids looked at his dad like a father figure.

“A lot of them don’t even talk to me and they just end up talking to him. He’s made that big of an impact on their life. He texts players and even their friends. He kind of is always there for people in need,” he said.

Lorelei said most of her friends’ biological fathers aren’t present in their lives or their parents have split up.

“They’ve always talked about my parents’ relationship and how loving they are towards each other. They just love our family vibe and the love that’s in our home,” she said.

Lincoln is the most like his father, according to Amber Tomlinson.

“I’m going to be better than him. He pushes me to do better and tells me to keep working. To be a leader,” he said “Pushing my teammates and also keeping my grades up.”

His dad couldn’t be more proud.

“He’s gotten pretty good about just letting anybody over and I think really that’s the same thing with me. It’s not so much the championships, It’s about the relationships and friends you gain throughout,” John Tomlinson said.